I am lying on my bed. My body is still, the silence in the room stands still. Almost every intake of breath can be heard. You can almost hear as this stillness is crunched by the chilling of my breath. The air is almost on the verge to snap. This is not calmness anymore. I am scared. It is in the middle of the night, I am sleeping, dreaming and I am in a state of fear. This feeling pierces through my bones. Drops of sweat run through my body, I start to gasp and I keep on hearing those voices. Stronger and stronger. Voices that do not want to cease.
– Come down to Earth!
– Stop being a dreamer! Go and find a real job!
They are stronger every night, they penetrate always more aggressively in the secret corners of my mind.
– You will never get out of this!
– Why do you want to make a change? Just accept that the World is just as it is and accept your destiny – the voices keep saying.
These are voices that I know. Family members, so called friends and other supporting people around me. Are they really supporting me? Or do they just want to take away my aim? I often have doubts.
– Why would You be the One to reach it?
Zsolt Szemerszky 